The only good thing about looking like a young teenager is that it allows me to make out with... young teenagers! I'm in my mid-twenties. Back when I was involved in one of my many sick and twisted dysfunctional relationships, I would often seek revenge on my on-off drunk sex partner by making out with his younger brother. Doing so sometimes required me to drive to the college town where the brother was a student and lived in the dorms.
I thought I was a real slick revenge master when, after a night of drinking, I returned back to the dorms to spend the night with him. Having not actually hung out in college dorms for about 10 years, I was unaware that overnight guests are required to supply their ID to the dorm Nazis stationed at the doors. The shame that I felt when I handed over my ID, revealing my true, creepy age was almost enough to buzzkill the satisfaction I got from hooking up with a hot college freshman in the name of spite. Almost.
I barfed the next morning.
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