L2'S HAND JOB DEBUT

Since I’m a loser with no friends, I often make internet friends. Last year one of my victims was a teenage male model (AKA the foot) from LA living in New York who I had the good (?) fortune to discover on a website.

Naturally, L2 and I were promptly in New York, hooking up with the foot and his friend almost immediately after landing (but not before I met another internet friend from Storm Chasers at a karaoke bar in Chinatown). The foot was about 92 pounds and covered in leather and chains so that when he walked he sounded like Jacob Marley jangling around Scrooge’s house. Obviously this gave me a major boner, so we made out. Somehow, in the drunken blur, the foot’s friend ditched us (smart guy) and the foot ended up at our hotel.

I expected us all to cram into the bed, but L2, assuming that since I’m a skank I wanted to sex the foot, slept on the floor next to the bed. You know, to give us privacy. I was pass-out drunk and refused the foot’s advances. I thought things were settled until I was awoken from my blackout with his hand down my pants. I swatted him away and went back to bed. L2, meanwhile, looked up from the floor to see his pale, scrawny, naked ass hanging over the bed. Unbeknownst to me, he had gotten completely naked while I peacefully blacked out beside him.

When I woke up, he was dressed and leaving. Later, he bitched me out for being a cock tease, when in reality I’m a spiteful hag. To make sure he got it right, I tracked down his friend from the night before so I could make out with him and piss off the foot. Mission accomplished.

L2 then decided to get some action of her own and promptly began making out with the bartender (who, thanks to L2’s fake ID, had been serving both of us drinks all night). Too drunk to function by closing time, the bartender got us a cab and came back to the hotel with us. For some reason we all got on MySpace where the 30 year old bartender saw L2’s senior pictures. OOPS. “Are you 17?!” he asked, before then admitting, “Well… too late to turn back now!”

That night I slept on the floor with a pillow on my head while L2 was introduced to the world of hand jobs.